What hurts the most

Lies....
WHY is that guys LIE!
If you have no intention of sticking around...
WELL DONT LIE!
If you say you are not going to hurt me.......
Follow through.
If you promise this and that.....KEEP THOSE PROMISES.

Is it...

Words hurt.

We all need to think before we speak. Stop. Think. Is it necessary. 

I am nosy. It's a known fact. But my intention is never to hurt someone by talking about them. I  know i've been in the wrong.....I've said stupid stuff, and choose stupid reasons.....I've asked for un-necessary facts. I've dug in places my nose doesn't belong. But atleast I realize my mistakes.....and I atleast try to but be hurtful with my words. Gossip is hurtful! We all know this....We have all had it happen to us and yet we STILL do it! It's like a drug or something. We all want to know stuff we don't NEED to know....We all want to talk about OTHER peoples problems so we don't have to face our own. I don't want to be like that! I want to be known for being a good caring friend not someone that talks trash! Jokes can be hurtful.....and you might never even know it!  STOP. THINK! 

I'm not claiming to be innocent! I admit my wrongs. Let's mature up people...

Do you think it's the christian thing to talk bad about our brother and sister? Is it the best thing we could be doing with our time? Couldn't we be using our words do help others instead of bash others? 

Why are we so quick to judge? Just because a person looks a certain way doesn't mean they are necassarily that way! 

Maybe someone has done some wrong in their past. But Jesus died for our sins....and if they ask for forgiveness......Why can't we just forgive them if they are truly sorry? Is it the christian thing to hold a gudge? No. 

Everyone is differant. I hear people talk about not judging and not hurting and in the next sentence it's like "Oh my gosh Lindsay is weird I would never hang with her" (not a real person I know just an example).

Are we not all children of God? YES WE ARE! Why can't we put our differances aside and atleast try to get along. I know alot of you that haven't even tried to give each other a chance! It makes me sad that i'm friends with alot of people that aren't friends with each other because one or the other finds the other one weird. We all have our problems. Yeah we do.....That means you too. 

Friends. Oh wow. Friends. Like I said in my last blog....I have some amazing friends! I love them to death. But I know some people i thought were my friends.forever, and now I think maybe I was wrong. What happened? I really don't know. I thought I was a good friend. I feel like I'm not good enough. But I want to make it clear it is my life, and if you can't love me for who I am....you never knew me and you never truly loved me. If I am not mature enough, or cool enough then I never was. So why did we do everything together and why did you make it seem like I was your friend. your best friend? I don't know that I will ever know the answer to that one. My life is my life. I don't want to waste it doing stuff that I don't want to do. I may not be going to get a great college degree but that doesn't change who I am. I'm still me.....I'm not suddenly a little girl who is doing nothing with her life. I sometimes wonder.....If certain people can see anything past themselves. Maybe they need to act the way they are to boost their confidence.....But do they not realize how bad it HURTS other people?

Okay....that was really rambling but I just have to get it out before I cry.

Yet again I come back to the point of.....Girl Boy drama.

WHY does teenage....and really life in general seem to ALWAYS revovle around this????? WHY are we taught that as girls we need a guy to make us happy. Many girls are taught this by their own parents....as they watch their mom/dad go through spouses/and gf/bfs etc. A guy(or girl if your a guy) is NOT going to make you happy if your not already happy with your life! It might feel right at first but you can't love someone if you dont love yourself first!!!!!!! You need to build a relationship with God, and stop dwelling on the fact you dont have a special someone. God will bring that someone in your life in his timing...not yours! He knows what he wants for your life. He knows who your suppose to be with and when! Don't rush things. Let things happen slowly. You have your whole life! Guard your heart.....Stop letting it get broke for no reason! Searching for that someone is like saying you don't trust God to bring you that someone! I trust God with my life and I know that when it's the right time I will meet the someone I am suppose to be with. Believe it.

Remember. STOP. THINK.

I love you all.

Jenzi

Friendship

Friendship....What would you do without that one good friend that you tell everything to? what would you do without someone to call the second you had a serious problem or a crazy funny story! I think I take that for granted sometimes.....I have amazing friends that are always there for me.....and I know that! Sadly friendships don't always seem to last. As people change, and get older.....it seems like they always grow apart. I remember how I NEVER thought anything would ever come between me and my ex-best friend. I thought the world would end if we went one day without talking and now....just a year later....It is EXTREMLEY weird if we ever talk. It's also sad when you can't find anything to say to the SAME person that you talked to for 6 hours straight sometimes. I can't blame everything on her even though it was her that got a new life that didnt invovle me. I changed too.....and the sad thing was it wasnt even a sudden BAM we arent friends anymore.....it was a slow sad awkward time where one day I realized....I didnt even care anymore. I mean I missed her....But I missed the old her. I missed our friendship but I didnt really feel like it was even possible to be close again. Dont get me wrong I still love her to death....It wasnt until MONTHS later that I suddenly thought WOW I miss that girl....and then suddenly an overwhelming saddness came over me....Now I know we both just changed....and the path she was taking was not the same path I had choosen for my life. Now I have some amazing new friends, people that are taking the same path and understand me. I have a best friend that I can't imagine not knowing....a friend that is more of a sister and someone I honestly believe I will be friends with forever. I also have some close friends that I can again feel moving away. I don't know how to stop it or what to do. So I am letting God choose. I am going to continue to try to be these peoples friend.....and if they want to be my friend I am going to be here. I am not changing my mind about our friendship and as hard as it is.....I'm letting them do what they want....without seeming like my friends. Friendship takes effort from both people. I can only put so much effort into a friendship before i suddenly realize that maybe we are really growing apart....and maybe just maybe as sad as that is....that's okay. Not saying i'mgoing to stop being anyones friend because if anyone wants to be my friend i'm all for it. But you truely have to try. I'm no longer putting on a worthless effort......

I love all of my friends to death and I will always always be here if they need me rather its a close friend or a friend from the past. I will never stop loving them....

I believe true Friendship lasts forever......But it takes an effort.....from both people.

I love you all.

Jenna

Long time no post!

Wow it's been a very long while since I've posted on this blog. I did finally graduate....Not sure where life is taking me now. I am planning on going to Vatterott for cosmotology. I think this is really what I want to do. I know a few people that dont like the idea and really want me to go to a four year college. I think it is my decision not theirs.....So I am following my heart. I know even my own mother would much rather me pick another career but it's me that has to live with it.....not her! Of course money is alway a part of it. I know I am going to be taking out loans.....But I also know it would take forever to earn the money and I am ready to go to school. Growing up is really over-rated! Really really!!! But I'm excited for the future and it to see what it's going to bring to me! 

So until next time, i'm going to end this

Jenna

Thankful!!!!!

Why do we always want what we dont have?

Why cant we be happy with what we HAVE, instead of dwelling on what we dont have?

If we just took one minute to be thankful we might realize how much more we have then what some people have! My family is not the richest family, and sometimes I catch myself saying hateful stuff about people that have more stuff then seems fair.......and then I stop and think......I have a house, I have food,I have clothes on my back (and plenty of shoes) and most importantly I have a family and friends that love me!!!! That's alot more then alot of people can say!!

Sometimes I forget, and I just dont care.......But there are people out there that dont have a house, and they dont have even.......food......the clothes they wear is the only clothes they own!!!!! Can you imagine that? I think we should stop for just a second and think......and be thankful. Maybe next time you complain, you should stop and think wait......I have this and that!!!!! I dont live in a mansion......not even close......But I also dont live in a cardboard box. The food we have might seem gross......but it's food.....and I'm never hungry unless I choose to be. I have my own room, my own computer, my own phone, and alot of other stuff that alot of people can only dream about! I am thankful!!!!!!!! God blessed me with a great life, and great friends. I cant ask for more. Sure I would like my own car....or for my family to atleast have 2 cars.....or maybe a bigger house so my brother didnt have to sleep on the couch. It would be nice to have a nice phone..........BUT, I am thankful for what I do HAVE!!!!!!!!!!! :-) Whatever happens in my life, is meant to happen.......and I am happy & thankful!!!!

I cant ask for more.....I can only follow God and accept what he hands me!!!!

God Bless you!!!

Jenna

I am thankful for your smile

I am thankful for the dreams I have

I am thankful for all the things that suceed.

I am thankful that I am me!!

School's almost out...!!!!!!!

I have always looked foward to the year when schools out and then its MY choice if I want school to be out forever or NOT!!!!............Now it's come, and I am sitting here thinking oh my gosh.......This is insane!!!!!!! I'm so excited but, I'm also getting nervous. growing up.......gee you always talk about it but you never reallllly think your going to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So graduation, is in 2 weeks, and I'm going to miss the first day of school every year.....you know the first week when it's still not a dread kinda thing. I will kinda miss the day before school starts again and the momma makes you go to sleep well before midnight.....HA!!!!!

Sure there will be college, but it will be differant. :l I will be 18 this summer, which is super insane to me......Ok so I probably wont act it but still!!!!!!!

I remember my 10th bday.....it seems like forever ago, but at the same time it doesnt seem that long ago if that makes sense at all. I was like DOUBLE DIGITS baby......Yeah those days when all my friends were boys, and I really like dirt piles, and playing legos. Oh Ya baby I was a girly girl.....not! I loved dolls.....true........But I loved taking them to play in the dirt...hahah!!! Boy things have changed. At 13, I first started decided maybe it DID matter what I wore.....and lipgloss was kinda cool all the sudden......boys were still friends, or had cooties though lol. I think I was 14 before I even admitted to anyone that maybe some boys were.........wait for it......................cute. Oh gosh .... ME thinking a boy was cute.

Now I still dont act my age.......and boys STILL have cooties :) haha just teasing......But, as graduation nears I just remember how cool it was to be young.......and I hope I dont forget all the good times. Mud Pies Baby!!!!

God Bless!

~Jenna

My friend

I have been really happy lately......Some of you might have heard my meltdown about 2 weeks ago when I out of nowhere I decided I missed my not so best friend anymore....and although we hadnt talked in weeks, I was mad at her out of nowhere......you might have heard how upset I was .....It was weird because that same day I got a text from her, just a simple Hello, and I was mad......and confused as to why she texted me the same time I was totally upset about .....her.....and I hadnt got even a text from her in over 3 weeks before that. The next day she talked to me again......and like everyday since then. It was weird since when I had just given up on us being friends, she decides to make an effort to be friends again!!!!!!!!!! Sure we are not the BESTEST friends anymore, But I realized how much I missed her and hope we will always be friends.....

:-)

Jenna