Is it...

Words hurt.

We all need to think before we speak. Stop. Think. Is it necessary. 

I am nosy. It's a known fact. But my intention is never to hurt someone by talking about them. I  know i've been in the wrong.....I've said stupid stuff, and choose stupid reasons.....I've asked for un-necessary facts. I've dug in places my nose doesn't belong. But atleast I realize my mistakes.....and I atleast try to but be hurtful with my words. Gossip is hurtful! We all know this....We have all had it happen to us and yet we STILL do it! It's like a drug or something. We all want to know stuff we don't NEED to know....We all want to talk about OTHER peoples problems so we don't have to face our own. I don't want to be like that! I want to be known for being a good caring friend not someone that talks trash! Jokes can be hurtful.....and you might never even know it!  STOP. THINK! 

I'm not claiming to be innocent! I admit my wrongs. Let's mature up people...

Do you think it's the christian thing to talk bad about our brother and sister? Is it the best thing we could be doing with our time? Couldn't we be using our words do help others instead of bash others? 

Why are we so quick to judge? Just because a person looks a certain way doesn't mean they are necassarily that way! 

Maybe someone has done some wrong in their past. But Jesus died for our sins....and if they ask for forgiveness......Why can't we just forgive them if they are truly sorry? Is it the christian thing to hold a gudge? No. 

Everyone is differant. I hear people talk about not judging and not hurting and in the next sentence it's like "Oh my gosh Lindsay is weird I would never hang with her" (not a real person I know just an example).

Are we not all children of God? YES WE ARE! Why can't we put our differances aside and atleast try to get along. I know alot of you that haven't even tried to give each other a chance! It makes me sad that i'm friends with alot of people that aren't friends with each other because one or the other finds the other one weird. We all have our problems. Yeah we do.....That means you too. 

Friends. Oh wow. Friends. Like I said in my last blog....I have some amazing friends! I love them to death. But I know some people i thought were my friends.forever, and now I think maybe I was wrong. What happened? I really don't know. I thought I was a good friend. I feel like I'm not good enough. But I want to make it clear it is my life, and if you can't love me for who I am....you never knew me and you never truly loved me. If I am not mature enough, or cool enough then I never was. So why did we do everything together and why did you make it seem like I was your friend. your best friend? I don't know that I will ever know the answer to that one. My life is my life. I don't want to waste it doing stuff that I don't want to do. I may not be going to get a great college degree but that doesn't change who I am. I'm still me.....I'm not suddenly a little girl who is doing nothing with her life. I sometimes wonder.....If certain people can see anything past themselves. Maybe they need to act the way they are to boost their confidence.....But do they not realize how bad it HURTS other people?

Okay....that was really rambling but I just have to get it out before I cry.

Yet again I come back to the point of.....Girl Boy drama.

WHY does teenage....and really life in general seem to ALWAYS revovle around this????? WHY are we taught that as girls we need a guy to make us happy. Many girls are taught this by their own parents....as they watch their mom/dad go through spouses/and gf/bfs etc. A guy(or girl if your a guy) is NOT going to make you happy if your not already happy with your life! It might feel right at first but you can't love someone if you dont love yourself first!!!!!!! You need to build a relationship with God, and stop dwelling on the fact you dont have a special someone. God will bring that someone in your life in his timing...not yours! He knows what he wants for your life. He knows who your suppose to be with and when! Don't rush things. Let things happen slowly. You have your whole life! Guard your heart.....Stop letting it get broke for no reason! Searching for that someone is like saying you don't trust God to bring you that someone! I trust God with my life and I know that when it's the right time I will meet the someone I am suppose to be with. Believe it.

Remember. STOP. THINK.

I love you all.

Jenzi

Friendship

Friendship....What would you do without that one good friend that you tell everything to? what would you do without someone to call the second you had a serious problem or a crazy funny story! I think I take that for granted sometimes.....I have amazing friends that are always there for me.....and I know that! Sadly friendships don't always seem to last. As people change, and get older.....it seems like they always grow apart. I remember how I NEVER thought anything would ever come between me and my ex-best friend. I thought the world would end if we went one day without talking and now....just a year later....It is EXTREMLEY weird if we ever talk. It's also sad when you can't find anything to say to the SAME person that you talked to for 6 hours straight sometimes. I can't blame everything on her even though it was her that got a new life that didnt invovle me. I changed too.....and the sad thing was it wasnt even a sudden BAM we arent friends anymore.....it was a slow sad awkward time where one day I realized....I didnt even care anymore. I mean I missed her....But I missed the old her. I missed our friendship but I didnt really feel like it was even possible to be close again. Dont get me wrong I still love her to death....It wasnt until MONTHS later that I suddenly thought WOW I miss that girl....and then suddenly an overwhelming saddness came over me....Now I know we both just changed....and the path she was taking was not the same path I had choosen for my life. Now I have some amazing new friends, people that are taking the same path and understand me. I have a best friend that I can't imagine not knowing....a friend that is more of a sister and someone I honestly believe I will be friends with forever. I also have some close friends that I can again feel moving away. I don't know how to stop it or what to do. So I am letting God choose. I am going to continue to try to be these peoples friend.....and if they want to be my friend I am going to be here. I am not changing my mind about our friendship and as hard as it is.....I'm letting them do what they want....without seeming like my friends. Friendship takes effort from both people. I can only put so much effort into a friendship before i suddenly realize that maybe we are really growing apart....and maybe just maybe as sad as that is....that's okay. Not saying i'mgoing to stop being anyones friend because if anyone wants to be my friend i'm all for it. But you truely have to try. I'm no longer putting on a worthless effort......

I love all of my friends to death and I will always always be here if they need me rather its a close friend or a friend from the past. I will never stop loving them....

I believe true Friendship lasts forever......But it takes an effort.....from both people.

I love you all.

Jenna

Long time no post!

Wow it's been a very long while since I've posted on this blog. I did finally graduate....Not sure where life is taking me now. I am planning on going to Vatterott for cosmotology. I think this is really what I want to do. I know a few people that dont like the idea and really want me to go to a four year college. I think it is my decision not theirs.....So I am following my heart. I know even my own mother would much rather me pick another career but it's me that has to live with it.....not her! Of course money is alway a part of it. I know I am going to be taking out loans.....But I also know it would take forever to earn the money and I am ready to go to school. Growing up is really over-rated! Really really!!! But I'm excited for the future and it to see what it's going to bring to me! 

So until next time, i'm going to end this

Jenna

Thankful!!!!!

Why do we always want what we dont have?

Why cant we be happy with what we HAVE, instead of dwelling on what we dont have?

If we just took one minute to be thankful we might realize how much more we have then what some people have! My family is not the richest family, and sometimes I catch myself saying hateful stuff about people that have more stuff then seems fair.......and then I stop and think......I have a house, I have food,I have clothes on my back (and plenty of shoes) and most importantly I have a family and friends that love me!!!! That's alot more then alot of people can say!!

Sometimes I forget, and I just dont care.......But there are people out there that dont have a house, and they dont have even.......food......the clothes they wear is the only clothes they own!!!!! Can you imagine that? I think we should stop for just a second and think......and be thankful. Maybe next time you complain, you should stop and think wait......I have this and that!!!!! I dont live in a mansion......not even close......But I also dont live in a cardboard box. The food we have might seem gross......but it's food.....and I'm never hungry unless I choose to be. I have my own room, my own computer, my own phone, and alot of other stuff that alot of people can only dream about! I am thankful!!!!!!!! God blessed me with a great life, and great friends. I cant ask for more. Sure I would like my own car....or for my family to atleast have 2 cars.....or maybe a bigger house so my brother didnt have to sleep on the couch. It would be nice to have a nice phone..........BUT, I am thankful for what I do HAVE!!!!!!!!!!! :-) Whatever happens in my life, is meant to happen.......and I am happy & thankful!!!!

I cant ask for more.....I can only follow God and accept what he hands me!!!!

God Bless you!!!

Jenna

I am thankful for your smile

I am thankful for the dreams I have

I am thankful for all the things that suceed.

I am thankful that I am me!!

School's almost out...!!!!!!!

I have always looked foward to the year when schools out and then its MY choice if I want school to be out forever or NOT!!!!............Now it's come, and I am sitting here thinking oh my gosh.......This is insane!!!!!!! I'm so excited but, I'm also getting nervous. growing up.......gee you always talk about it but you never reallllly think your going to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So graduation, is in 2 weeks, and I'm going to miss the first day of school every year.....you know the first week when it's still not a dread kinda thing. I will kinda miss the day before school starts again and the momma makes you go to sleep well before midnight.....HA!!!!!

Sure there will be college, but it will be differant. :l I will be 18 this summer, which is super insane to me......Ok so I probably wont act it but still!!!!!!!

I remember my 10th bday.....it seems like forever ago, but at the same time it doesnt seem that long ago if that makes sense at all. I was like DOUBLE DIGITS baby......Yeah those days when all my friends were boys, and I really like dirt piles, and playing legos. Oh Ya baby I was a girly girl.....not! I loved dolls.....true........But I loved taking them to play in the dirt...hahah!!! Boy things have changed. At 13, I first started decided maybe it DID matter what I wore.....and lipgloss was kinda cool all the sudden......boys were still friends, or had cooties though lol. I think I was 14 before I even admitted to anyone that maybe some boys were.........wait for it......................cute. Oh gosh .... ME thinking a boy was cute.

Now I still dont act my age.......and boys STILL have cooties :) haha just teasing......But, as graduation nears I just remember how cool it was to be young.......and I hope I dont forget all the good times. Mud Pies Baby!!!!

God Bless!

~Jenna

My friend

I have been really happy lately......Some of you might have heard my meltdown about 2 weeks ago when I out of nowhere I decided I missed my not so best friend anymore....and although we hadnt talked in weeks, I was mad at her out of nowhere......you might have heard how upset I was .....It was weird because that same day I got a text from her, just a simple Hello, and I was mad......and confused as to why she texted me the same time I was totally upset about .....her.....and I hadnt got even a text from her in over 3 weeks before that. The next day she talked to me again......and like everyday since then. It was weird since when I had just given up on us being friends, she decides to make an effort to be friends again!!!!!!!!!! Sure we are not the BESTEST friends anymore, But I realized how much I missed her and hope we will always be friends.....

:-)

Jenna

quotes and verses I like.

"You attract people by the qualities you display. You keep them by the qualities you possess."

~Source Unknown.

(-I truly believe this......I mean you see really pretty girls attract the guys.....but, I think only truly beautiful people inside and out can keep them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"If you have the courage to love, you have the courage to suffer."

~Unknown Source.

(Not sure why I like this but I do....)

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

Proverb

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing at something that happened yesterday

A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed.

It's not who you are that holds you back,it's who you think you are not.

Never let the fear of striking outkeep you from playing the game

"Beauty is not based on how attractive we are to everybody else, but how attractive we are to ourselves, for one cannot think other people think they are full of beauty unless they know they are beautiful too."

~Source Unknown

"If your are meant to be together forever, you will survive any obstacle or trouble that comes to you."

~Source Unknown.

"I'll always be beside you until the very end, wiping all your tears away, being your best friend. I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too."

~Unknown.

When it hurts to look back, and you are scared to look ahead, look beside you and your bestfriend will be there."

"A partner in crime, a thief of time, you will always be there for me in the end, you are always my dearest friend."

"A good friend is like a computer: he Enters your life, Saves you in his heart, Formats your problems, and never Deletes you from his Memory."

ICONS I LIKE!!!!!

I'm in a mood to ramble......about life. I'm not sure theres really ANY point to this blog......I just really feel like blogging. Recently I was reading this and it really just struck me.......as to HOW true it is.

Happiness is not when everything goes right in your life its been you decide to be happy.

This can be totally true. Have you ever had a day when everything has gone fine, nothing big or bad has really happened but you feel really really sad and alone......and just not sure where to turn? But if you choose to be happy......you feel happy. I didnt really believe that before, but I realized that no matter how difficult life might be.....and boy it sure can be........I want to be happy and so i'm choosing to see the Good even on the worst day of the week!!!!! Just because the sun isnt shining doesnt mean you cant have fun. Dance in the rain!

Things are not always going to go right. Your going to lose friends,but your also going to meet new ones. Your not alone, no matter how alone you feel. God is always there for you!!!!! Here are some more things that have been on my mind.

1.Girls,

Dont upset yourself over guys. Remember that God is writing your love story, and theres no need to be anyone but you, and enjoy life, without acting totally stupid and stressing about guys!!! I have nothing against guys......as friends!!!! I can honestly say right now I am done stressing out about finding the right guy. I know that God has a will for me and whatever that might be.......it will happen!!!!!! I dont need to act stupid, or flirt with random guys to make myself feel like I matter. Theres no need to chase.......TRUST GOD!!!!!!

Okay moving on!

2.Jealously

We all feel it at some point no matter what!!!!!! If its because we dont think we are as pretty as someone and we want to look like it......or because so and so is with so and so and they are so so cute and we so so want to be like them........Oh maybe the person you like, likes someone else....or is even with someone else..........

But jealously hurts the person that is feeling jealous more then it will ever hurt anyone else.

By being upset because you dont look a certain way or are with a certain person etc, your missing out on living the life God gave you with the people God put in your life!!!!!!

Dont be depressed, because you might not look like what some people call beautiful. YOU ARE YOU, and thats more beautiful then anything else!!!!!!

3. WOW graduation is coming up realllllly soon, and it's making me realize how life will seriously change SO much. Sometimes I miss being a little kids........bring back the dirt piles,kool aid, & COOTIES!!!!! It was alot easier when usually the most tragic thing in life was a skinned knee!!!!! Bandaids always made that all better......espicially the rainbow ones!!!!!!!!!!! Dont get me wrong......growing up isnt HORRIBLE.........But it's change.....and change is always going to hurt in one way or another. I guess when I was little I never thought about ever growin up......I mean I thought about it but I never thought it was ACTUALLY going to happen. Now i'm almost 18.......and it feels funny. Now if I want to play tag people LAUGH.......and when I act 5.......people laugh some more. I kinda liked the whole boys are my best buddy things, and anything more then that is COOTIES!!!! hahaha.......It was so much easier when you could be really good friends with a guy and no one said......SO YOU LIKE HIM? OH MY GOSH!!!!!! I mean seriously why cant a girl and a guy be JUST FRIENDS? Is that a crime? NO!.....Okay good cuz I totally dont like any of my guy friends as more then a friend....

I really cant believe that in a few weeks ill be.......graduated!!!!!!! Its the weirdest thought!!!!!!

Growing up kinda sucks sometimes........it really does.

AND NOW...........Moving along.........

I have nothing left to sayyyyyyy.

If ever your heart is feeling lonely.......turn to God.

!Jenna

My brother

I dont know how to start this blog.....Perhaps it's the hardest blog of them all, because anyone can read it......and some people dont know this. But as, I was getting ready for bed I had a sudden urge to write this blog about my brother. There is a select few of you that know the entire story of my brother..... My Si-Si. My best friend until I was 13. Josiah was the one I looked up to. Nearly 4 years older then me I always thought he had all the answers. At four I followed him around begging him to play with me. He used to scare me away with tales of Big Bad Evil Poussums and i'd run in crying. We used to fight over the last fruit rollup. I used to get so mad because he usually got it because he was "low". I remember how mad I would be because he learned to bite himself then show my mom the mark claiming "JENNA BIT ME MOM!" I also remember the "Good Ole Days" when we would spend hours playing legos and going to my mom to ask if they had "Plums in the olden days?" He taught me to climb trees, and build forts....until his friends were around then he handcuffed me to the lawn chairs. As I grew older, I still looked up to him so much no matter how much we fought sometimes! He taught me to play basketball, and we'd spend hours playing Horse, and trying to dunk.....seeing who could jump higher and comparing who was taller. When he was 13, I remember he got his first girlfriend. Thing was he wasnt allowed to date until he was 16.....I knew about it and I kept my mouth shut. He told me about his crush on our neighbor and I told him about my dolls....and kittens. When I was 11 I really started telling him everything, we used to talk everynight for hours about everything. We made up stories about WHAT-IFs and he used to tease me about marrying Aaron Carter. I learned alot of stuff I didnt want to know from him and his friends......but I was always around. I hung with the older guys, and they just kinda accepted me as their basketball buddy....their friend. I remember our punch drunk sunday nights.....we we had gone all weekend without sleep and i'd look at books and laugh my head off and he'd sit there and laugh at me. There was problems even then.......I remember when I was 7, He tried to commit suicide the first time. Yeah he was 11. He actually hung himself out second story window and then panicked and told me to go get mom.....My mom said I came downstairs and said "Momma....Is Josiah suppose to be hanging out the window?". You see Josiah has diabtes and severe depression even at 11.....and he didnt think life was all that great.....even then. Right after I turned 13 my mom had put Josiah in a GED program. At this time, we were still friends. I had his back when I found out about the music he was listening to that he was NOT suppose to. I promised to never ever tell.....Well he came back everyday from this GED program everyday with all kinds of interesting stories about the kids in his class and how most were dropouts and how they were into drugs. I never dreamed my brother would get sucked into that......so I laughed about how retarded they were right along with him. I remember him saying drinking should be outlawed. I dont know when it was when he first came home smelling like smoke, and I didnt say anything, and my parents never noticed. I dont even remember when it was when I got him to confess to me, that him and his friend had smoked pot......I remember he said he'd never do it again though. I dont remember when it was, that I realized he was lying.....I just remember knowing, and him knowing I knew.......I also remember I never told my parents because I was scared for him, and for what would happen to him. I remember the day my momma found out.....he was at school and she took me aside and told me she found drugs in room and asked if I had any idea about it......I lied, and said NO! When he got home there was alot of drama and he lied too saying I didnt know.....that he would have never let me know. He then promised he wouldnt do it again and after alot of trouble my parents let it slip......I think it was about a month later when I realized he HADNT stopped.....by then our relationship was wounded majorly. I stayed away from him, and he stayed away from me. I would cry in my room at night, and everytime he talked about moving out I would spend hours writing in my journal about how much i'd miss him! I remember the second time my parents caught him.....my dad told him he had to stop or leave......he chose to leave. He moved in with a friend. It was weird without him for awhile, but I started getting used to it, and he came to visit and i still kept my distance. then his friends dumped him and he was back......I was mad too......and then he was gone again because he couldnt get rid of the sinful stuff he did and my parents didnt want that around thier other children. By this time his temper that he had always had, had gotten alot worse. He was always threatening suicide! the second time he moved in, I learned to hide, and he learned to hate me because I couldnt be nice anymore. He would tourture me....making fun of my friends are calling them "prissy little christian virgins" I remember how upset I would get and how id tell my mom and she'd just cry. He started bugging me so much that I would literally lock myself in my room when he was home, until he left. If he was going to be home and my parents were going to be gone, I made sure I was with them. I refused to be home alone with him. My parents started refusing to leave my brothers with him after he tried throwing chairs at people. He took over the TV, and the computer, and the food, and everything else! Everytime he moved out I was SO happy, telling my mom to please please please make him stay gone because I couldnt take the fear of what he would do.......But my parents ALWAYS let him come back. A few months before we moved my mom had to call the police because he was going to insane.....I remember me and my brothers locked in my parents room crying while he screamed how he just wanted to die.......I will never forget how......bad I felt for him. I just sat there thinking how there was NOTHING I could do......nothing at all. Once he threatened to stab my mom......thats one time he was kicked out.....for a whole week.....By this time he was really into drinking and Pot......and it kept getting worse. When we moved he made the decision to stay in Oregon......with His gang (that he was actually in) I remember hugging him goodbye and all I felt was relief........But it took about a year of being away from him to start really missing him. I dont miss his problems......no i dont miss him flipping me off everytime my mom turned her back.....I dont miss his language. I dont miss his drug problem....I dont miss the way he threw stuff.......But I miss my childhood friend. I miss him,and I really pray for him to change. He claims God never did anything for him so why should he believe in God.......I dont get that.......God did so much for him!!!!

Now I only talk to him through myspace......a myspace that talks of every drug in the world......and its true he's into hard drugs now......a myspace that claims, porn to be his fav tv......and then a myspace that claims jesus to be his hero......I dont get that at all..........

But I'm not giving up. It's a miracle he's even still alive today. He has been in the hospital so many times, and beat up so many times, and in so many fights. He lives in gang land portland.....believe me not a great place to be in the day let alone at 2 in the morning when he gets off work. But no matter what he did or said to me......I still love my brother. Now sometimes he calls and I cant understand a word of his weird language that he speaks now......hood talk or whatever the heck it is......But when he hangs up I understand -I love you sissy......and it makes me cry more then anything else.

I love my brother. I really do.

Please pray for him.

Jenna

Beautiful

I realized something in the last couple months that I heard so many times but never felt. God made me beautiful. He didnt make me ugly. I am a child of God, I'm not ugly!!! I was always putting myself down, always saying things that I might have known was not true.....but I still felt. I would say I was fat, when I am actually a pefect weight for my height. I said I was to tall, or my nose was to big! I didnt like my skin, I hated the way my hair never stayed in place, or how "retarded" I looked when I didnt smile. I didnt like my teeth....and the list went on and on. Anything and everything that could be wrong with me, was wrong in my eyes! I'm not sure, what changed my mind exactly. One day, someone told me how totally annoying it was when I put myself down and I dont know WHY that time it got through my head. I had heard my friends say so many times to STOP putting myself down, but this time I really listened, and this person was someone I wasnt really friends with anymore......But when he said it, I kinda just stopped and thought......By putting myself down I am not hurting ANYONE but myself. Everytime I said I was ugly, I was feeling uglier and uglier. I started saying stuff I had heard from my brothers for years, stuff that I should have known was not true!!! I was always telling everyone else how beautiful they were, but I couldnt see that I really was not an ugly person. I still get insecure, but I feel so much prettier! I dont feel ugly!! Sure I'm really tall, but hey.....I'm a girl michael jordan....ok maybe not but still! My nose might seem big to me, but it matches my features. My skin is not perfect by any means, but it could be worse. My teeth are not straight, but they are good enough I never needed braces. I am not fat, at all! I guess all of these things should have been obvious but they never were! I've learned that when my brothers say, YOUR UGLY, I just have to smile and say thanks.......when I take an insult with a sweet reply like thanks your cute too.....it really throws them off. I used to be like crying or id say something equally rude. Okay sometimes I still do, but the insults just dont hurt as bad. You are beautiful, just the way God made you. You dont need to change for anyone!!! When my friends put themselves down, I can easily look at them and see how truly beautiful they are, and I hope they can see the beauty in themselves. I am not going to suddenly turn all egotistic and think im so amazingly pretty, but I can honestly say I dont think i'm ugly anymore, and neither are you!!!!!!!

I hope you know how truly beautiful you are my friend.

God Bless you!!
~Jenna

My Look On Dating!

There's been something i've wanted to blog about alot lately since it's been on my mind. The thing i've been wondering is why, is it that certian people think they have to be in a relationship to be happy. I have several friends that totally stress out when they are single, and then they settle for less then they are worth and then a few months later they are heartbroken, and to get over the heartbreak they suddenly "HAVE" to find someone to replace the last someone. To me that's kind of like saying you dont trust God enough, to bring the someone your meant to be with in your life. I mean I understand, no one wants to be alone but sometimes your just pushing it. If you have to be someone else, to get someone to like you then they dont truly like you.....and it wont last. If you have to rush things, then you dont really get to know someone and how can you know if it's suppose to be? I mean i'm not against dating, but I think it's rather stupid to date for any other reason then it ending in Marriage. Otherwise it's just pointless heartache. Atleast that's how I look at it. I actually perfer the term- Courtship over dating. I have a very good i've been very good friends with for several years now. I've watched her go though boyfriends so many times over and over. I've watched how depressed she gets when they break up, and I've watched how depressed she is when she's not with someone. She will claim she is happy single and then a couple days later she say's she likes someone else, and I have to wonder, how this is possible. It's as if she cant be happy with herself, she has to have someone to tell her how beautiful she is......Which brings me to another thing. You cant love someone else if you cant love yourself!!!!!! If your not happy when, you dont have a spouse then you are not going to magically become happy just because you have that someone special. Sure it might seem you are happy at first, but there will come a time when you will feel insecure again. You must first LOVE God, and Trust him, and then you must Love yourself.....you cant rely on a guy/or girl, to tell you what your worth!!! Learn to love yourself! Every teenager is going to get hurt by a guy/girl at some point rather or not they are in a relationship. Sometimes, it's going to just be a worthless crush that doesnt even know you like them, and maybe they have a girlfriend/boyfriend and thats going to hurt. I look at it as one way or another your going to get hurt......BUT dont open the doors to pain! I believe if everyone trusts and follows God, they will find the person they are meant to be with. Dont rush life. I'm not saying I dont sometimes feel alone, or like a guy I shouldnt like......But I trust God to guide me to one I am truly meant to spend the rest of my life with.....not just a few painful months or even years. I want a forever kind of love.

God Bless you!

Jenna